34.8 million households in the U.S. are dual-income households. Of those, approximately 22 million have children under the age of 18 living in the home.

Now, don’t get me wrong—I’m not condemning dual-income households. My wife works part-time and even helps me manage some of my full-time work. In this economy (and with children), there is no way we could make it work otherwise! However, there are a few things I’d like to point out, and incidentally, they have nothing to do with money.

I’ve held a few jobs and have run or assisted with several different businesses. One thing I can certainly testify to is that the demands of a career and the pursuit of success will take a lot out of you. We live in a high-demand society as it is, but everything seems to get elevated when there is actual responsibility (and money) involved. And what is our response? We accept that that’s the way the working world works, and when our jobs require 150% from us, we put our nose to the grindstone and deliver. We run ourselves into overtime week after week, and still feel stressed on weekends and holidays. The demand for deadlines is something we strive—mostly out of fear—to never miss the mark on.

But what about family? How is it that, when it comes to the demands of the rest of the world, no matter how much we hate it, we will still show up and outperform? Yet when it comes to the needs of our family and the impact we could have on them, we are constantly falling short. Is it because there is no monetary reward? Is it because they don’t put pressure on us like our jobs do? I think there are many reasons why this is, but at the end of the day, they’re all just excuses…

Before you think I’m trying to demonize 22 million couples who have to work six jobs to make ends meet while daycare looks after their child, I’m not. I truly get it! But the truth is that we all know something we could or should be doing to show up for our children in some part of their lives, and we’re simply not. Since we’re showing up so avidly for our jobs and trying to keep up with the rest of society, we find ourselves trembling by guilt.

My thoughts:

This guilt comes from a conscience, which comes from a God who has given you the ability to tell what’s right and what’s not. The adage, “If it doesn’t feel right, it’s probably not,” comes from our ability to sense when something is amiss. But that conscience—and the ability to turn a strong conviction into strong action—only comes when there is a strong relationship between you and God. Of ourselves, we are not capable of acting on even the most fundamental truths at times, but when we are actively walking with God, we develop a strength that makes any change possible!

So what is the answer? Where do you start when you can tell you need to make a change? Start with your relationship with God. Bringing yourself closer to Him will give you the strength and discernment to address other issues in your life, especially as a parent. James writes, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him” (James 1:5). He sees what you’re struggling with. He sees the needs of your family. If you’re looking for answers, He has them.

Ask yourself:

So who is getting the best part of you? Are you giving yourself to God? Are you allowing Him to guide you to prioritize your family? What results do you think you would see if you did?